sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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