I CAN MOONWALK!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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