We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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