I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
