If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
