Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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