The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
