Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
