Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
