It's like God shit irony all over that family
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
