Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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