So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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