AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You pole danced in your parka.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
