Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
