Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
