Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
