9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
