talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
