Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
