May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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