Who did Billy Mays play for?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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