If that was your dad, he is hot
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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