she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
