I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
