Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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