people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
