I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
