We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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