We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
