loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize