I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
