Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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