I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
