I wanna bring you to show and tell
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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