This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
