I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She bit a glass in half.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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