even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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