My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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