i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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