He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
