If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
