Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
