she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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