I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
