Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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