Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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