If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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