Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
