What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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