He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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