yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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